|Years old:||I am 27|
My girlfriend of 5 years went through a rough patch a few months ago and she used food as a source of comfort.
She has put on a lot of weight and I really feel like I am not physically attracted to her anymore. How do I get her to workout and drop the extra pounds? But the truth is that males are visual creatures, so naturally place a lot of emphasis on the way their partner looks.
How to pick up women at the gym, according to women
So what do you do when your partner starts to put on some weight and you are not as physically attracted to them because of it? The average girlfriend or wife is not a supermodel. She may never have the body of a supermodel, even if she works out 10 hours a day. It may also not be realistic to expect your partner to be unhealthily thin please realize that many models seen in advertising may actually be quite underweight, which is also unhealthy.
Hey, it will happen to you too, buddy. If a waning physical attraction is the problem, then practice focusing and appreciating aspects of her body that you do like. Compliment her constantly and sincerely on these qualities — it will make her feel attractive and appreciated. So how do you really inspire someone to work out or eat better so that they can drop that extra weight? There are a few things that you might be able to do to help your partner, but the first thing you must realize is that…. Even the best of intentions cannot be forced.
Your goal here is to subtly help your partner associate pain to being overweight and not taking care of her body, while at the same time associate massive pleasure to exercising, eating well and being fit and healthy. The problem is that most people associate pain to losing weight. Only when the perceived pain of these two activities is less than the perceived pain of being fat and unhealthy will your girl change her actions.
Treat her as well as you did when you first got together. It will make her self-esteem soar and be more receptive to making changes to improve herself for you. Exercise and eat well because it makes you feel good and your body healthier Of course, the pleasant side effect is often looking good as well!
Time stops for no-one; your body will eventually age. This is a form of practicing what you preach. If she sees you working on your own health and fitness, it can often inspire her to do the same for herself. Complement her often. Praise her when she eats well, or does a workout — but be sincere. Dieting sucks, but making small changes in your grocery choices can make a big difference. Stock the fridge and pantry with only healthy foods.
Try cooking together. As a female, I love getting help from my man in the kitchen, and you can both create a healthy meal together instead of getting greasy takeaway. If you yourself could stand to lose some weight, then why not try setting common goals?
Have a t commitment to exercise a set amount of times during the week. Or find an activity that she enjoys and commit to doing it with her, like swing or salsa dancing. It may seem a little out of your comfort zone, but chicks dig guys who can dance. Only talk about the issue once and only then if you think it will actually be constructive.
This is a huge no-no.
Reverse psychology rarely works in this situation. Many guys are not sure about if they should blatantly try to talk about the issue at hand with their woman in a logical way. Who knows, she may change on her own from these! Keep the discussion purely related to the health aspects of the issue.
Positive reinforcement is always the key, as is knowing how to approach the subject in the right way. Making your girlfriend or wife feel bad about her body is rarely going to give a good result.
Above all, remember to be realistic. Focus on the benefits of being healthy rather than the aesthetics. This is a great article for men to read who want to help their wife or girlfriend lose weight without eroding her self esteem or giving her an ultimatum. Positive reinforcement is the key.
His and her fitness
It also goes for the reverse too — if your husband or boyfriend has been putting on the pounds, wives and girlfriends also need to be encouraging. Develop a workout plan together and become a team in the exercise regimen. The two of you can work together on losing weight. Go the gym together and start eating healthy together. It will strengthen the bond and you both will begin to look and feel great. I agree that it works the opposite way for women trying to convince their men to get fitter. There might be slight differences in the way you can approach a male, but the underlying concepts are the same.
Haha no wonder this is such a great article! It triggered my bad vibes mode big time. Any man that wants to get his lady to lose a little must read this and take note every word here. We are very sensitive creatures and when it comes to any aspect of our bodies, tread carefully because it is a risky business.
Hi Lynne, thanks for sharing your thoughts! I agree that it is totally a very sensitive topic, but can also feel a little sorry for the guys that have to put up with our funny moods sometimes. I think it really is true that the majority males do think differently than females. They tend to be a lot more logical and not driven by emotional thinking, so I hope this article helps anyone in this situation. I really like your post, it has a lot of methods I could use to get my girlfriend to workout with me in the future.
How to get your girlfriend/wife to workout: tips from a female
I honestly think weight lifting is the best way for a female to get into shape! The question is how to get her interested. Some women can be a bit scared of lifting heavy weights because they feel they might become overly muscly never really going to happen to the average woman, due to naturally having a lower amount of testosterone. Perhaps you could point out that gaining muscle improves your metabolism, allowing you to eat more freely without gaining weight. Try to point out the fun aspects of it, tell her why you enjoy it and see if she shows any interest.
Not sure about your routine, but guys tend to focus on the upper body, whereas females like to work more on lower body legs and butt. If you do get her interested in lifting, she might like the routines in Strong Curves as they are specifically deed for female bodies. Good luck!
I think this is by far one of your best articles thus far. It is so well written, factual and highlights so many salient points that women who are trying to loose weight may face. For health reasons alone I think it is extremely important to be proactive and eat healthy, however I do appreciate how arduous that can be at times. Thanks for the lovely feedback Charlene!
Definitely agree with focusing on the health reasons — and I think your blog recipes definitely help with making healthy food choices here! But it is no use. I would suggest not hinting at anything in the future if she is shutting down; instead try and focus on something simple to begin with, like going for a walk with her each day.
Hope this helps! This is a great article and everything makes a lot of sense.
My girlfriend is not terribly overweight, but she should lose pounds. The problem is that some of her medication has slowed her metabolism, so she has to work a lot harder and eat carefully… but she really enjoys food, wine, excessive amounts of salt, and soft pretzels.
My schedule is way busier than hers and I find time to exercise, so she has no excuse. In fact, I go above and beyond to make her feel sexy. I truly do think shes sexy. But I would find her more attractive if she was thinner like she used to be.
Exercise with a friend
I also tell her not to fret about eating super healthy — just be reasonable. But she just eats and drinks freely every day. However, it did motivate her to eat better… for about 4 days. Eventually, I will have to be completely honest with her that I want her to lose weight, but I am terrified that this will shatter her and damage our intimacy… What are your thoughts?